Ever since I discovered it when I was 22 and dating a lovely Nigerian guy – who turned out to be a cuck by the way, not a bull – I have been fascinated by the endless possibilities and trouble I could get myself into.
While my Domination preferences are around controlling and containing the male libido, my personal preferences are well… shall we say I am pretty much an all you can get kinda girl. Even before I knew what cuckolding was, I was practising it! As an ex of mine used to say, I’m ‘too much for one man’… It has been pretty hard for me to find just one individual who can fire up my different sexual appetites. My boys are all ok with it. I like to think that I am a product of modern existence. If I feel like it I should have the choice to sample as many different flavours as I possibly can.
Now here’s a surprising thing though. Whilst for me it has been (and remains) exciting and new and different to be able to have all these experiences I do, I found that some of the slaves that I spoke to were not enjoying the sexuality journey quite so much. While it is true that we exist in a society that glorifies the wanton abandonment of sexual responsibility, the consistent feedback from many of my converts to cuckolding has been surprising. It seems you guys have a whole bunch more pressure than women do. Performance anxieties, feeling you are not good enough for your partner, size concerns, feeling unattractive (*or replaced* can someone say vibrator?). My conversations with submissives have suggested that the inherent feelings of helplessness, loss of control, guilt, disgust etc are not the pleasurable side effects people are going out to find when they go on the dating scene.Some of the things I have heard revolve around how individuals feel overwhelmed by sexual stimulus, and the increasing availability of highly sexualised content that has been researched to cater to niche upon multi-niche of desire often sends them spiralling down a route of addiction to the buzz that the pleasure rush brings them. I remember speaking to a ‘vanilla’ friend whose husband had converted the study to a single bedroom so he could spend more time watching porn. Alone. Now we all know that sexual desire and drives will differ in relationships, but all too often there is a gradual disintegration of communication and expressions of affection that come about as a result of one party choosing to pursue a path such as this. Inevitably feelings of resentment, distance, interests not being shared just fester until the relationship can end up in crisis. He agreed to trial out porn free days and instead take her out and cater to her as a friend initially. After a few months they had a moment of intimacy. And hopefully things will only get better. A relationship – with yourself or with a partner – takes work. If you choose to be a helpless consumer of the changing sexual goods out there you will most certainly find yourself down your own bottomless rabbit hole. But if you agree that there is firstly an active choice incorporated in making the decision not to relieve at any given opportunity, and choose to embrace that and see where it leads, then you will surely start to discover some of the sexual joys and reawakened desires that we did.
Of course not everyone will experience these. But some of the things people report are:
[su_quote]- increased libido
– focus of desire
– increased productivity at work, around the house, with duties used as distraction techniques
– patience with their partners’ needs. This was in the case of males in periods of chastity
– taking up of an old hobby
– feeling more in control
– less worried about when they would masturbate as they knew they were only allowed certain pockets of time to do so.
– less concerned about physical stimuli that would normally have precipitated the need to masturbate.[/su_quote]
Everyone is different. And of course other people are quite happy to carry on losing sexual energy and focus on several wanks a day. But if you are not then carry on reading.
I am happy to see individuals or couples who have as much of an interest in this lifestyle as I do. Maybe you have fantasies around serving a Dominant couple in every way imaginable? I have several guys that I offer these types of sessions with. I will suggest someone that seems most suited to your needs.
Maybe you and your partner have begun to play around with the idea of sharing the love with a select third or more and are unsure how to negotiate your way around finding someone? Or even how you address them once you have found a potential? I can offer practical guidance, or send one of my ‘boys’ your way to offer a more hands-on tutorial.
Maybe you are already playing with a bull or bulls, and have concerns around how your own relationship could be affected? Let us talk about this and I can share some of the things that work for me and my partner. Oh yes, I have a boyfriend. As well. As the bulls. *wink*
Whatever you wish to explore, either myself, both of us, or all of us, are here to talk to you and explore what possibilities might exist for you.