You do realise that the only interest I hold in you is for you to humiliate yourself and reshape yourself to my version of amusing don’t you? Nothing you could do could begin to make you a man in my eyes.
In fact all you can ever hope to be is an oddity that I point at and laugh at with my friends.
This task goes as follows:
You will need:
1) a spoon
2) crackers or savoury biscuits
Time to complete: less than 30 minutes
Go for a walk or a run. Do something that gets your heart pumping and gets you nice and sweaty. Once you get home grab a spoon from the kitchen.
Pull your pants down.
Scrape the spoon between your ass cheeks, making sure to collect as much sweat as possible. Then pluck a hair or two from between that hairy arse. You know you have it.
Now go to the kitchen and grab your cracker or savoury biscuit. Smother your sweat and ass hair all over it. Hey, if you want to add a dollop of cream cheese or something on top why not?
Oh, don’t forget to take a video and send it to me.